This is not possible @Phill99J. Even the RBAC rules, as you say do not handle this exactly how you would want. There are two items on our backlog in this area, which hopefully will improve authoring and configurations. in the future:
RBAC/ABAC to influence data object actions shown (FDBK-136178)
Support Visibility Conditions for Data Type Actions (EPIC-97828)
I’ll make sure the team are aware of your feedback here, this helps with prioritisation and impact.
As for immediate solutions, you could create a different view for each of your personas? Or better yet have a view with delete and one without and dynamically show it? Obviously, still keep the RBAC in place to secure it, but then at least it would not show when its not allowed.